Independence Day

I’m realizing how important it is to exercise my personal independence every day. Each choice produces an infinite set of possibilities and outcomes, so it’s helpful to be detached to any specific outcome. While giving it my best, I focus on being open to whatever result occurs. Regardless of the independence I have to make decisions, I must also accept that the world around me is independent as well! That means that, regardless of my best efforts, things often happen that are out of my control. My independence remains intact when I choose to respond to the unexpected in a way that is positive and productive.

I seek a happy balance between humbleness in the face of the big, vast Universe, and sincere confidence in my own capabilities. Life is full of ups and downs, often in the same day, and I am a lucky witness to a it all. I am challenging myself lately to make less value judgements (good versus bad) and simply accepting things for exactly what they are – so be it, c’est la vie!

In the mindset of Independence, I hope to find independence from a desire to control everything around me – outcomes, timelines, narratives… Focusing on these things can be helpful to an extent, for example when setting goals and making productive strides, but I am now choosing to bring my attention to the present moment and doing my best within the present moment. The future will take care of itself, and the past is already gone. The only thing that exists is now. I hope that myself and anyone reading this can find freedom and bravery to exist exactly as they are, right here, right now, and in each passing moment. ❤ XO, Lola

Summer Lovin’

Happy Summer Solstice! and Welcome to Summer 2019. Texas has been getting lots of rain this time of year (is that normal? hmm…) and I’ve been enjoying a more temperate and mild beginning of the season.

I feel thankful and blessed to be able to spend time with folks this summer. I hope to get plenty of relaxation and bring some relaxing and stimulating joy into people’s lives, too.

What do you have in mind for the summer?

Arousal, Desire, and Freedom

I’ve been working for myself for about a month and a half now (goodbye, 9-5 life!) and I’ve been blessed to stumble across Carol Queen, a sex worker who wrote Real, Live, Nude Girl in 1995.

For my clients and folks who are interested in meeting me, these quotes help explain the connection I have to my work, and to you all.


“I came to believe that the men who were my Clients- mostly ‘yuppies and their dads,’ as I usually describe them- were paying for sex not because they couldn’t get it any other way… When a client comes to me, he brings need of a kind he often cannot articulate. His need for acceptance and nurturance is intermingled with erotic longing. At first, I was surprised to open the door to men I had never met before and find that they were already erect, but now I see this as a body-understanding on the client’s part that his desire will be accepted and affirmed. He does not feel desire for a particular person, but the sort of desire, I am certain, that ardent worshipers brought to the temples, desire to connect, to know eroticism as powerful and good.”

“It is a core sex-negative belief that one loses one’s power when in a state of intense arousal: Arousal is seen as positively dangerous. Our mothers warn us against it, televangelists tearfully apologize when they’re caught in it, the notion of ‘sex addition’ has been devised to enforce and profit from it, and ordinary people describe experiencing it with phrases like ‘I felt out of control.’ All of this is rubbish. The belief that sex weakens a person’s morality is dangerous; it is a Christian chimera, a social fiction with a hard edge of social control. This existential sucker-punch leaves us unprepared to make sensible decisions, to respect ourselves and the people we have sex with, and to assert our needs.”

“As a naughty little grown-up, I declare that pleasure is for my own good.”

– Carol Queen, Real, Live, Nude Girl (1995)

Desire, arousal, and lust are all valid parts of our human experience. I feel that men’s sexuality is demonized as inherently oppressive, and somehow at fault for things like rape and assault. In the absence of consent, unfortunately these violations do occur (I have experienced it myself). But I have found through my work that a man, exploring his sexual desires in a safe space, is a fountain of life force that is not only beautiful, but natural and good.

It saddens me to see how sex-negative and erotophobic society can be – despite the fact that sex as integral to life as food and water! I feel the specialness of being in a space with a gentleman where sexual expression is not only expected, it is guaranteed. I feel the chains of society’s bindings loosening in my own mind and in my body, and we melt together in perfect harmony.

I hope that the folks who read this feel empowered in their own sexuality, no matter how it presents itself and what forms it may take, and to know that it is a signal of one’s humanity to be a sexual creature. ❤


Checking in :)

Hi Everyone – I just got done getting a delightful spa manicure and pedicure. It has been a great week full of memories.

Fall is in the air, and although we still have plenty of hot days ahead of us, it’s time to say goodbye to summer.

I for one am excited about the Fall and winter seasons and what they will bring. I hope to continue building on my goals, meeting new people, continuing connections with familiar faces, and getting through each day.

I’m still on Switter and Twitter, and though I haven’t been on my web cam channel much lately, you can still catch me every now and then on Chaturbate.

Sending a big hello to everyone,

Hi from a wet, rainy September day. I’m cuddled up with a cup of iced coffee (espresso!) even though hot tea would be more perfect 😉

Got caught in the rain today while walking and thought about how unpredictable life can be.

I’m happy to be back online after a brief hiatus. What is everyone up to these days? Get in touch.

The sun is coming out – I’m going to see how it feels outside.

Until next time. XO,