Relax / Action

Hi, beautiful people! I’ve been so enjoying my home space this past week. After spending a week in the Dominican and then a few days in Tennessee (hearts to sweet gent…), I felt strangely quiet being back at home. That’s when I realized I need down time, quiet time, not only to relax and regroup, but to handle mundane details that really add up to important tidbits!

For example, laundry. Another example, spending time with my dog. A third example, cleaning my space. These small actions are plenty to fill a morning with meaningful, productive tasks. I’m learning that life can only be glamorous and exciting with a balance of mundane and detail-oriented aspects, too. I *could* bounce all over and try to keep a high-paced lifestyle, but that would mean allowing the small but important things to fall by the wayside.

It’s a gift to be able to wake up each day, eat something, and drink water. These genuine, life-bringing moments are what I’m all about, and no amount of excitement should ever make the small facets of my daily life un-special.

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All this to say, I’m hoping to keep traveling and seeing new places, meeting new people, and expanding my adventure called life. But I am also choosing to balance the fast-paced moments with seriously quiet and focused downtime.

As I prepare for my upcoming visit to Dallas and then NYC afterwards, I remember how blessed I am to have a solid home base. I look forward to traveling, and I look forward to coming home again. ❤

Thank you for reading and staying updated on my inner monologue! 🙂 I appreciate you very much.
XOXO,
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Caribbean Reflections

Hi, beautiful people! I am back home and full of little moments from the week in Punta Cana, Domincan Republic and my first visit to Tennessee.

Travel really is the best thing for a change in perspective, which we all need every now and then. I was able to use my recent practice of being in the moment to truly enjoy lounging on the beach. I turned off my phone and left it in the hotel room (there was no service to speak of anyway!) and spent day after day doing exactly what I wanted to do. If I felt hungry, I went to the Snack Bar and ate some french fries. If I was sleepy, I fell asleep on the beach or in my hotel room and took a nap. If I was horny, well… Some things stay in Dominicana 😉

One of my favorite experiences was when two ladies, Mira and Judy, braided my hair for over three hours! The result was an incredibly long bunch of green, white, and black braids. I had such a blast rocking the Island Girl look for one week. I admit that I had a small panic attack trying to remove the braids, which took a lot of effort and patience. It was worth it.

Now that I’m back home, I feel ready to make some small changes in my life. I find that small habits add up to big things! The small changes I plan to make include spending a more disciplined amount of time on administrative tasks such as replying to emails and posting online. This means focused, dedicated hours each day instead of randomly throughout the day. I can tweak it as needed, of course, but I’m hoping this will allow me to focus better on replying and sharing information, and allow me more mental free space when I am not at my computer.

I also noticed while in Dominicana how truly special it is to just sit, and just be. For example, as I sit here writing in the park, I can feel the wind on my face and see this big Texas sky. It’s a moment in time that I get to experience, and it’s a small miracle. It isn’t much, it isn’t even noteworthy and I will probably forget it in a few hours, but it is here and now, and I am the lucky person who gets to experience it.

On another note, my first travel date went swimmingly! Special thanks to You Know Who for making me feel comfortable and taken care of during my trip to Tennessee ❤ It took me a little bravery to venture outside of Texas to meet someone new, but now I know that I can do it, and have a blast too!

Until next time, lovely people. Stay cool.
Lola

July 2019 Check-In

Hi, lovely people!

July is going swimmingly, even though someone backed into my car yesterday (yikes!) and knocked off my mirror. Luckily, they were responsible and gave me their insurance information. It was one of those moments where I’m extra thankful to be working on detachment and letting things go, and not taking anything personally. Yes, it definitely sucks to have car trouble, but on the bright side, no one was hurt and someone will fix my car soon! 🙂

In other news, I’m gearing up for my one-week vacation to the Dominican Republic (I know, I know, people are dying there, but I’m still going!) I’m super excited to use my passport and spend days lounging on the beach. I’ll be sure to take photos to share with y’all!

After the DR, I’m making a trip to Tennessee to visit Nashville and spend a few days with a lovely gentleman. It’s my first travel date out of the state, and I’m stoked! I hope to plan more in the future, if this goes well.

I’ve got some exciting things in the works, and I can’t wait to share with y’all soon. ❤

Thanks for your interest, support, and love.

Hugs and Kisses,
Lola

Independence Day

I’m realizing how important it is to exercise my personal independence every day. Each choice produces an infinite set of possibilities and outcomes, so it’s helpful to be detached to any specific outcome. While giving it my best, I focus on being open to whatever result occurs. Regardless of the independence I have to make decisions, I must also accept that the world around me is independent as well! That means that, regardless of my best efforts, things often happen that are out of my control. My independence remains intact when I choose to respond to the unexpected in a way that is positive and productive.

I seek a happy balance between humbleness in the face of the big, vast Universe, and sincere confidence in my own capabilities. Life is full of ups and downs, often in the same day, and I am a lucky witness to a it all. I am challenging myself lately to make less value judgements (good versus bad) and simply accepting things for exactly what they are – so be it, c’est la vie!

In the mindset of Independence, I hope to find independence from a desire to control everything around me – outcomes, timelines, narratives… Focusing on these things can be helpful to an extent, for example when setting goals and making productive strides, but I am now choosing to bring my attention to the present moment and doing my best within the present moment. The future will take care of itself, and the past is already gone. The only thing that exists is now. I hope that myself and anyone reading this can find freedom and bravery to exist exactly as they are, right here, right now, and in each passing moment. ❤ XO, Lola

Summer Lovin’

Happy Summer Solstice! and Welcome to Summer 2019. Texas has been getting lots of rain this time of year (is that normal? hmm…) and I’ve been enjoying a more temperate and mild beginning of the season.

I feel thankful and blessed to be able to spend time with folks this summer. I hope to get plenty of relaxation and bring some relaxing and stimulating joy into people’s lives, too.

What do you have in mind for the summer?

Arousal, Desire, and Freedom

I’ve been working for myself for about a month and a half now (goodbye, 9-5 life!) and I’ve been blessed to stumble across Carol Queen, a sex worker who wrote Real, Live, Nude Girl in 1995.

For my clients and folks who are interested in meeting me, these quotes help explain the connection I have to my work, and to you all.

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“I came to believe that the men who were my Clients- mostly ‘yuppies and their dads,’ as I usually describe them- were paying for sex not because they couldn’t get it any other way… When a client comes to me, he brings need of a kind he often cannot articulate. His need for acceptance and nurturance is intermingled with erotic longing. At first, I was surprised to open the door to men I had never met before and find that they were already erect, but now I see this as a body-understanding on the client’s part that his desire will be accepted and affirmed. He does not feel desire for a particular person, but the sort of desire, I am certain, that ardent worshipers brought to the temples, desire to connect, to know eroticism as powerful and good.”

“It is a core sex-negative belief that one loses one’s power when in a state of intense arousal: Arousal is seen as positively dangerous. Our mothers warn us against it, televangelists tearfully apologize when they’re caught in it, the notion of ‘sex addition’ has been devised to enforce and profit from it, and ordinary people describe experiencing it with phrases like ‘I felt out of control.’ All of this is rubbish. The belief that sex weakens a person’s morality is dangerous; it is a Christian chimera, a social fiction with a hard edge of social control. This existential sucker-punch leaves us unprepared to make sensible decisions, to respect ourselves and the people we have sex with, and to assert our needs.”

“As a naughty little grown-up, I declare that pleasure is for my own good.”

– Carol Queen, Real, Live, Nude Girl (1995)

Desire, arousal, and lust are all valid parts of our human experience. I feel that men’s sexuality is demonized as inherently oppressive, and somehow at fault for things like rape and assault. In the absence of consent, unfortunately these violations do occur (I have experienced it myself). But I have found through my work that a man, exploring his sexual desires in a safe space, is a fountain of life force that is not only beautiful, but natural and good.

It saddens me to see how sex-negative and erotophobic society can be – despite the fact that sex as integral to life as food and water! I feel the specialness of being in a space with a gentleman where sexual expression is not only expected, it is guaranteed. I feel the chains of society’s bindings loosening in my own mind and in my body, and we melt together in perfect harmony.

I hope that the folks who read this feel empowered in their own sexuality, no matter how it presents itself and what forms it may take, and to know that it is a signal of one’s humanity to be a sexual creature. ❤

XOXO,
Lola

Checking in :)

Hi Everyone – I just got done getting a delightful spa manicure and pedicure. It has been a great week full of memories.

Fall is in the air, and although we still have plenty of hot days ahead of us, it’s time to say goodbye to summer.

I for one am excited about the Fall and winter seasons and what they will bring. I hope to continue building on my goals, meeting new people, continuing connections with familiar faces, and getting through each day.

I’m still on Switter and Twitter, and though I haven’t been on my web cam channel much lately, you can still catch me every now and then on Chaturbate.

Sending a big hello to everyone,
Lola